Gratitude Day 30

On this last day of my month of gratitude, I'm grateful for my sweet husband, William.

I can't imagine my life without this sweet man I am privileged to spend the rest of forever with. He is an amazing father, a wonderful husband and I'm so lucky he fell in love with me. (And convinced me to love him too!)

I'm grateful he is in my life and in my eternity.

Gratitude Day 29

I'm grateful for Eva!

Sometimes I struggle because Eva is pretty high energy. She talks incessantly and she is very particular.

However, she is AMAZING! She is so bright, and she is constantly surprising me with the new things she is learning. When I look in her eyes, I'm so happy she is mine.

Gratitude Day 28

I'm grateful to be home and to go to bed in my own bed tonight.

Do I really need to say more? I love traveling (when I don't work it's even better, but less lucrative), but there is something amazing about my own bed.

Gratitude day 27

I'm grateful for free upgrades and early bedtime!

Right now I'm going to sleep. I got a free upgrade on our room too. And now I want to sleep. Goodnight!

Gratitude Day 26

Nov. 26: I'm grateful for Katie. She is so happy and fun!

I just want to kiss her chubby little face all the time!

Katie is very nearly perfect.  She is happy almost all the time. I thought Eva was a good baby, but then I had Katie and she is so easy going and pleasant. Not that I love Eva any less, I'm just stating how easy it is to work with Katie.

Here are some of Katie's favorite things... 

Her family.  Today Will FaceTimed me and Katie saw her daddy and started squealing.  She climbed all over me trying to get to my iPod, and then when she could touch it, she grabbed at Daddy's face. Also, no one can get her laughing like her sister can. :)

Her bath. She will splash and splash and doesn't care about water getting in her face.

Food. She's basically her mother's daughter... enough said.

Her toys. She crawls (like a one armed army man) all over to get to her toys... more specifically dolls!

Her hair. She pulls it ALL the time!

Smiling.  It's her favorite. :)

So today, on her 10 month birthday, I'm grateful for my little ball of sunshine, Katie.

Gratitude Day 25

I'm grateful for music!

Tonight Katie was struggling to go to sleep and I heard Will start to sing to her.  She settled right down, and fell asleep in just a few minutes.  I love that music can bring such calm into my life.  I love that both my girls find joy and calm in music as well.

When Eva was still inside me, Will sang to her every night (we didn't have that much time or energy when I was pregnant with Katie). The most interesting part to me was that Eva had favorite songs.  When certain songs were sung (Baby Beluga and Baby Mine) she became much more active.  She would kick more often and harder.  I knew she could hear the music, and I know she loved it!

So simply, I love and am so grateful for music!

Gratitude Day 24

I'm grateful for my comfy bed.

That really doesn't require explanation. I love my bed. That is all.

Gratitude Day 23

I'm grateful for a working car!

We drive an old car. It is a 1999 Corolla. Thank goodness it's a Toyota or it would have died ages ago.

The last few years we've done a lot of our own maintenance because of cost, so we haven't had a proper tune up in a while.

Because we have only the one car, it's really hard to take the car in, but since we had family in town this week, we could!

We got the car back today and it runs like new, and hence... I'm grateful for a working car.

Gratitude Day 22

I'm grateful for Katrina! Tonight she made me laugh so hard I nearly peed my pants!

I love my sister-in-law.  She is wonderful, sweet and, basically amazing!  Tonight we were talking and she sprayed a bunch of whipped cream in her mouth.  Then will said something funny, and suddenly Katrina was like Mount Vesuvius! It was hilarious!

I think the thing I like most about Katrina is that she understands me and loves me just how I am.  She is giving and wonderful, and I can't imagine my life without her.

Katrina... just before she erupted!

Gratitude Day 21

I'm grateful for Smokehouse BBQ and Burgers! And the free turkey I just won!

My mom thinks I'm the luckiest person alive... I wouldn't say that... but I would say that I enter LOTS of contests.  Today I won a 20 pound turkey.  Earlier this month I won a Honey Baked Ham gift card.  Granted, the gift card wasn't quite enough to be able to get a ham big enough for everyone we're serving, but the turkey for sure will be!

On top of the free turkey, Paul at Smokehouse is AMAZING!  His food is GREAT and he and his wife have been sure to employ those with disabilities.  If you haven't tried his food yet, it's amazing.  If you're local, go! If you're not, but you're in town, GO!

Gratitude Day 20

I'm so grateful for my in-laws!

My house is full right now, and I LOVE IT!! My in-laws are visiting for Thanksgiving and I'm so happy to have them here.  They make my life happy and I can't imagine how it would be without them.

We can't see everyone in the picture... half the family is on the other side of the room.

Gratitude Day 19

Today I'm grateful for my sweet mother, Joyce. It's also her birthday today!

Katie when she was just a few hours old.

My mom and I are best friends.  We can talk about anything.  I miss her so much since she moved a thousand miles away, but we talk daily... usually more often.  

Today is her birthday, and there is nothing I am more grateful for today, than my dear mom.  I could say so much more, but Thank You is what I'll say today!

Gratitude Day 18

I'm grateful for good friends.

We had dinner with some of our best friends tonight.  I can't really stand to think of what will happen in 8 or 9 months when we move.  It's too painful to think of being away from our friends.  Tonight as we ate dinner with this family, I was so happy to be friends with their kids, to know that we will be friends forever, and to know that they are as close as family.

It breaks my heart to think that I'll be moving away from so many people who I love so much.  There are the "grandparents" that Eva and Katie have adopted in our ward.  There are the women who have become as close as sisters. 

I know I will make more friends, but I will never make these same friends.  I will hopefully get the chance to see them after we move, but for now, I will relish the time I have left here in Provo with my dear sweet neighbors and friends.

Gratitude Day 17

I'm grateful for my second amendment rights.

I'm not a gun hoarder or anything, but I really enjoy target shooting.  Plus I feel like it's important that kids know about guns and proper handling so that they are not curious about them when they're not supervised.  

Today I went target shooting with Will, Katrina, & Katrina's friend Jordan (with our .22 rifle).  We had so much fun.  We've been thinking about getting a handgun for a while now.  We've also been saving for one... so after we went shooting, we went to the store and looked at the SR22 we've been eyeing for a while now.

And then we bought it.

can't wait to shoot it!!!!

So now I want to go back to the range.  But that will have to wait for later. :)

Gratitude Day 16

I'm grateful for cheesy jokes.

I heard two really funny cheesy jokes today.

Why don't seagulls like to fly over the bay?
Because then they'd be called BAGELS!!!!

Get it?? BAY-GULLS???

or


What's the difference between a picnic table and a UVU graduate?
A picnic table can support a family! (I know... kind of bad humor... but oh-so-funny!)

Not my family... obviously.

Anyway, I'm grateful for cheesy jokes!

Gratitude Day 15

I'm grateful for children's Tylenol and children's Motrin.

This morning around 6, Eva came into our room.  She likes to be laid back down after using the potty in the middle of the night.  Will was awesome and took care of her, twice! Anyway, by 7:15 she came in and she was feeling warm to me. I had to go to a benefit fair today, so I had to leave her with Daddy.  

Throughout the day, Will let me know that Eva felt much better after having Tylenol (or Motrin, whichever she was due for), and it makes me happy that we live in a time that there is medicine that can help my children feel better.

Gratitude Day 14

I'm grateful for the direction I receive from my Heavenly Father.

Sometimes I get in the way of the plan my Father in Heaven has for me.  In regards to law school, Will and I have taken a very different course. When we have prayed about this new adventure, we have realized some of the following things.

1. The school that we go to makes no difference to God. Will will receive a good education at any of the places we apply to.

2. We will make it through school, regardless of location, provided we depend on Heavenly Father.

3. Heavenly Father has a place for us where we can be of help to others, and/or others can be helpful for us.

4. Heavenly Father will guide us through the things that happen in our lives, both good things and trials.

Today I'm grateful for this direction.  I know that we can get to where we are supposed to be, provided we don't trip ourselves up by getting in the way of God's plan for us.

Gratitude Day 13

Today I'm grateful for the words FULL TUITION!!!!

We got another acceptance letter today for law school (from Creighton University) but this one came with another letter from the scholarship office.

If you missed that... FULL TUITION!!!!!!!!!!

There is nothing that makes me as happy as knowing that we don't have to pay for law school!

So today I'm grateful for the words FULL TUITION!!!!

Gratitude Day 12

I'm grateful for mouse traps. And that I'm not throwing up right now.

Today I went to make Eva some "warm cereal" (read oatmeal), and when I opened my oven drawer to get out a pan to boil water I saw something like this...

he's cute, but when you see him in your oven drawer... not so much

So I acted like the girl I am... I screamed.  

Eva was really concerned... and hungry.  

I panicked! How could I make my warm cereal? How could I walk around barefoot ever again!? How could I sleep at night? How could I put my baby down on my floor EVER AGAIN?!?!?!

So I called my mommy.  She said to buck up and buy some mouse traps.  Set them (keep the kids away), and wait.  Oh, and when you hear the snap, wait a bit for the mouse to stop kicking.

Then I almost threw up.

So I called Will (who had the car), and said, "GET SOME MOUSE TRAPS!!!!"

He came home with this.

If my floor was this clean, do you think I'd still have a mouse?

So we set it (with peanut butter as the bait).

I waited....

nothing.

still nothing.

I went to check the trap, to see if I somehow missed it flipping.  There was a little string hanging out of it.  I thought, "Hmmmm, I don't remember there being a string in the trap." So I moved the trash can it was behind, and OUT RAN THE MOUSE!!!! 

stupid trap.

So I reset it.

I only had to wait about 5 minutes and then...

*muffled* SNAP

yep... he's dead

And I'm not throwing up yet... but I really feel like I might.

So long story short... I'm grateful for mouse traps.

 

Gratitude Day 11

I'm grateful for the men and women who have served our country.

I don't think there is much explanation needed for this post of gratitude.  My brother served in the Army, as did my Grandfather, and many friends.  Although I've not heard all the details, I know enough of their experiences to know that war is horrible, and yet in some ways necessary.

I appreciate all those who served, and particularly those who died in the protection of the rights I am privileged to have as a citizen of the United States.

Thank you to all who have served or will serve.

Gratitude Day 10

I know most people will say I'm a little nuts, but I'm grateful for snow.

Let me tell you a story.

5 years ago, I was giddy with excitement.  I had a secret, and it was so thrilling.  I was finally pregnant.  After 3 1/2 years of trying, I was pregnant.

5 years and about a month ago, everything changed.  I started spotting.  I went to the ER.  They did an ultrasound.  There was no heartbeat.  This amazing secret (that a few people knew) was gone.  I was devastated.  How would I go on? The world was too noisy.  Everyone had something to say. It seemed as if the noise was mocking me.  It said to my heart, "Your pain doesn't matter. The world is going on without the baby you just lost."

I just wanted it to be quiet.

And that is where my love of snow comes into this story.  Nothing is as quiet as falling snow. The world is quiet and still. People stay in their homes, and the snow quiets every noise in the world.  The Friday that I miscarried, I remember praying that the noise would stop.  I just wanted to know that my pain was known by my Heavenly Father. 

And then a miracle happened.  That night, dark clouds rolled in, and it got really cold. 

The next morning it started to snow.

My prayers were answered.  God knew my pain, and sent me the blessing of snow.  It was quiet.  I could grieve.  I knew I wasn't alone because God heard my prayers and sent me quiet, in the form of snow. 

So yes, I'm grateful for snow.

This was how my street looked this morning as well as the morning after my miscarriage.

Gratitude Day 9

Today I'm grateful for Origami Frogs!

I had the SLOWEST day yesterday at a benefit fair I was attending for work... by slowest, I mean I saw 19 people in 4 hours. Really it was 8 people in the first 20 minutes and another 11 in the last 20 minutes.  I had a lot of time to kill.  So I made origami frogs.

Aren't they cute?

And then when Eva was needing to kill some time while we were waiting for mac & cheese to boil, we made more.

That's it.  I'm grateful for origami frogs and their ability to kill time!!

Gratitude Day 8

I'm grateful for the occasional work I can do which earns me a little extra money for the holidays and for things we'd like to have, but aren't in our normal budget.

I used to work for VSP (Vision Service Plan) out in California, but when we moved out here, there was not an office here I could work for.  I switched to working for an optometrist, and that was good, but working 9-5 when what I wanted to be doing was having babies and staying home was hard.  Then I found the opportunity to work contract work for VSP.

Basically, I go to benefit fairs in the fall (when employers have all their insurance vendors come and talk about the employees' benefits) and talk with employees about their coverage.  On the years when I've had a baby, I don't get to work a lot, but last year (when I was pregnant), I worked a TON! I got to travel to Wyoming (exotic, I know!), and Colorado. And when it was all said and done, I had enough extra money to get our house recarpeted! :)

Anyway, I love my work when I get to do it, and I'm grateful for the chance to bring in a little extra for my family.

Gratitude Day 7

I am grateful for Will's job.  He has worked there for years now, in multiple positions, and through all the change, his coworkers and bosses have treated him well and encouraged him to do more and be better.

Will has worked for Pinnacle for over 6 years now, and they have been amazing.  Not only has he been able to continually have a job (despite the recession), but he has good benefits and he's had pay raises and promotions. I love when he comes home and tells me stories of his bosses (or his bosses bosses) saying things like, "Don't ever quit Will! What would we do without you?"

I know we'll be leaving in less than a year, but I'm so grateful that until then, Will has good work with good people.

Gratitude Day 6

Today, like so many others, I'm grateful I can vote. But especially today, I'm grateful for early voting!

I'm so grateful we live in a country where our voices can be heard.  I'm so glad I have had the chance to vote, and I'm grateful that there is a process in which we can frequently reevaluate our leadership, and change it if needed. 

I'm especially grateful that I voted early, and only had to wait in a short line.  Two days after I voted I passed the early voting location and the line was out the door and around the building.

Gratitude Day 5

I'm thankful for my computer, even though it's slow, because then I can blog and play on Facebook.

I know it seems silly... particularly since my blog visitors are few and far between... but I'm really grateful for the opportunity to blog.  It's therapeutic.  It's also just about the only way I journal right now.

I love that I can keep up with my friends and family in the world through their blogs, and through Facebook.  This weekend at my sister's wedding, I was able to identify (AND name!) most of my cousins and aunts and uncles who showed up!

It was AWESOME!

Although my gadgets and tech can permeate my life a bit, I'm really grateful I can be able to use them for good by reconnecting with family and friends. :)

Gratitude Days 3 & 4

I've had to combine two days of gratitude on my blog because yesterday I was gone from the house from 8 am until 10:30 pm, so I didn't have a chance to blog.

For yesterday, here is my gratitude post...

Even though it's really early right now, I'm grateful to be going to my sister's wedding this morning!!

I had the incredible opportunity to go to my sister's wedding yesterday and it was perfect.  I love her so much and to see her make the decision to marry a wonderful man in the temple makes me so happy.

Becky & Toren leaving the temple

Having their cake & eating it too. :)

 For today, I'm grateful for the blessings of the temple.

Bountiful Utah temple

I am so grateful for the blessings I feel because of the covenants I've made in the temple.  I'm thrilled that I have the chance to be with my family for time and all eternity because of being sealed together in the temple. I am so happy to be able to feel the Lord's presence and his peace in the temple.  There is so much more, but simply, I love the temple and I'm grateful that I live in such a way to be able to go and partake of the spirit and the blessings that come from being there.

Gratitude - Day 2

For day two of my month of gratitude, I am grateful for so many opportunities that are ahead of us.

Last night we talked to Eva about where we'll be next Halloween (our new "far away house"), and she started sobbing.  Some days I feel about the same.  I just want to cry because I will miss our old/tiny/work-filled home.  And don't get me started about leaving my sweet friends, there is nothing more painful right now. But regardless of those sad things, I am so grateful for the opportunity we have to go to law school.

3 years ago when everything fell apart with our plans to go to med school, I wasn't sure how it would all work out.  I wasn't sure how we'd make it through the disappointment.  I struggled to know how to encourage Will.  And now, I can see how the Lord has guided us.

First of all, we were able to be here the entire time Katrina has been at BYU.  She will graduate in April, and we will likely leave in July or August. Don't get me started about the possibility of not being near her either... that will for SURE get me crying.

Isn't she pretty? :)

Second of all, we were able to have another baby.  I don't know how things will go in the future, but right now, I know I have two sweet girls, and they were possible because I was with the same doctor here in Utah.

no words... just too cute

her too... perfect

Third, three years of law school versus four years of med school, 2 years of residency, plus whatever else for fellowships, etc.

Fourth... not being on call.... 'nuff said.

There is so much more. But to be simple, I'm grateful for the new things ahead of us, and the opportunities they will bring.

Gratitude

I've seen so many people start posting their gratitude posts on Facebook today, so I've decided to do the same.  I'll post the abbreviated version on Facebook, and then expound on it here on my blog. You'll get to know the background for my gratitude AND that will get me blogging EVERYDAY! Try not to fall off your chairs now.

Here is my first post from FB.

1. I'm grateful to be mentally healthy after having Katie.

A few (read "too many") hours after Eva was born, finally getting to hold her.

I had no idea when I had Eva how difficult things would get.  By the time we came home from the hospital, my post partum depression was in full swing, but I didn't realize it.  I didn't figure it out for a while.  Will finally figured it out about 4 weeks after Eva was born, and it took weeks longer before my meds kicked in.

Even now, when I think about how things were: the suicidal thoughts, the inability to get out of bed, and the constant sadness; I cry for how much of Eva's babyhood I missed.  I still feel guilty when I find it so easy to love on Katie. I hate that I couldn't feel the same thing.  I'm not saying the same feeling didn't exist, it did.  But my mind was so messed up by my PPD that I couldn't recognize and feel the love I had for Eva.


So when I say I'm grateful to be mentally healthy, I say it because I love that I can enjoy hearing my babies laugh.  I love that I can enjoy holding my baby.  I love that I can hold and soothe Katie when she cries. I don't know if the sadness will ever pass about when Eva was an infant, but I know now that I love her, and I am so happy to be able to feel it now too.

Eva loves to copy Katie.

Sometimes Katie needs to be protected from Eva's love.

These are my favorite faces!

Such pretty girls.

Eva loves to "read" to Katie.

These two are best friends.

I'm glad I can enjoy these two!