There's the background to my story.
Today I was sitting next to Treson's car seat (with him in it) for all of Sunday School and Relief Society. I was playing with his fingers and toes, he was holding onto my fingers, etc. Exactly what most babies do during the 3 hours they have to sit in church.
I was thoroughly enjoying myself. He has an enormous smile, that makes me so happy. Anyway, we were on the second to last row of chairs, and behind us is where all the older sisters in the ward sit. As Relief Society ended and everyone got up to leave, Mandy and I just sat there a while and played with Tre. One of the older sisters in the ward tapped me on the shoulder and then leaned forward to whisper in my ear. She said, "Don't touch babies' hands." Then walked away.
Now, I know she meant well, since you want to protect a baby from getting sick and all, but REALLY!!!!!! I'm so mad, sad, upset, furious, whatever, I could scream. To be precise, I cried the whole way home. (All 3 minutes of my drive, since the church is only 4-5 blocks away.) Even now, thinking about it makes me cry again.
I don't understand why some people think it's okay to give advice on a child that isn't theirs, to someone who's not the parent of that child. Where do they think they get the right?
My big thing is that I don't want to see this lady ever again. I don't know if she knows my heartache about not having kids, but it seems so unreasonable to say something so insensitive to an adult. I can understand telling kids not to do something, but I'm 28, I know what I'm doing.
How do I get through this?
9 comments:
I hope this doesn't sound too rude, but then again maybe I do want it to sound rude ...
I understand the "germ" angle, but come on! IF that lady has kids, they probably have no dexterity in their hands because they were never allows to touch anything and no one ever stimulated them by playing with their hands. Also, her kids probably have no immune system because she probably kept them sheilded from the world in the bubble. Now, even though they are probably in their 40's, her kids still probably catch every little bug out there and will die from something as simple as the stomache flu.
I hope that doesn't sound TOO mean (or maybe I don't) -- but I am of the impression that since it is NOT her kid, she should BUTT OUT! Or, if she is THAT worried about it, she should talk to the MOM and say "you probably should not let too many people play with your baby's hands" or something. But, telling it to someone who you don't even know?!?!?! ... That just doesn't make sense.
Sorry for the rant ... but I hope that "old bat" reads this blog and learns a thing or two.
(Feel free to delete this comment if you like) :)
WHAT!!!???
Will put what I wanted to say perfectly.
I'm sorry it hit you so hard, Nancy. I feel for you.
People are just stupid and always feel like they know best when it comes to kids. You can't do much to avoid it. The only solution I see is to develop a thick skin. Though I'm not sure how one goes about doing that.
What did Tre's mom think of that lady's comment?
No one but me heard the comment, and I won't see Treson's mom until tonight. But she will get to hear the story. We'll see what she says.
Yep, Shirley is right. You can't avoid comments even if it's your own kid. EVERYONE will tell you what NOT to do (or what you SHOULD). And you may get mad but for the most part you just have to (somehow) develop a thicker skin. It's usually easy to avoid someone at church but then it gets in the way of the spirit because it's all you think about at church. I hope you find some peace through prayer and know that we (and of course Heavenly Father) love you. I'd let you hold CJ, even with your "dirty" hands and he's in more danger of contracting something than Treson. Hope we can visit with you before we go back east! Love you!
Hey guys, you will always have a busy body who thinks they know everything, coming after you. I haven't decided if they are just Cruel, self absorbed, or big one, JEALOUS, of what you do or ENVIOUS seeing your confidence.
Will is correct...babies need stimulus for hands, as well as brain function, and physical activity. Too many babies DO NOT have the love and interaction needed for them to progress as far as they need to go at their age. I hope we do NOT go back to the orphanages for the raising of children, even though our system is not perfect and fails in a lot of ways to provide the best for the children coming from abusive homes. This child is getting exactly what he needs (interaction with adults). Today, at church, Amanda Aycock and her Mother thought it was funny to pull my hair in sacrament meeting. It was not funny to me, no reason for it, and she has done this same thing to many others as I watch each week. That child is is in her teens. TEACH and LOVE Nancy, forget those that lack the wisdom necessary to raise a child.
LET GO! There will always be old biddys out there and you have to ignore them. Some people are just rude.
Live your life as you know that Heavenly Father wants you to and you have no worries! You don't have to answer to the lady....
Going through similar infertility struggles with Corey as you and Will are going through, I completely understand why you struggle so much. What I have had to do for those with well-meaning, although hurtful comments/advice, is to realize that because they don't know what I am struggling with, they honestly did not mean to cause me any inner pain. I also have tried to turn any of these possibly hurtful comments into a learning experience for them by just explaining as simply as possible my own situation. I have found that they completely melt and are so sincere, honestly helpful and want to give actual helpful advice then. Hope that helps!
I think you should make eye contact with her next week then pretend to lick his hands.
That'll show her.
I am so sorry! You can come and hold Daniel's hands any time you want!!!
Post a Comment