For those who know me really well, it won't come as a shock to you that I don't like Mother's Day. It's not that I don't like my mother, I love her. The problem is that I've wanted to be a mother for so long, that a day set aside to celebrate mothers is a little painful for me.
This year is only slightly different. No, I don't have any announcements to make (I wish), but since we miscarried last year, I just haven't been able to figure out how I feel about Mother's Day this year.
After nearly 4 years of trying to get pregnant, we were excited to think our waiting was over when we got a positive pregnancy test last October. However, my pregnancy only lasted 10 1/2 weeks, and the baby never progressed past 8 1/2 weeks. I consider this baby to be a part of my family, but I never got the chance to mother it. It never progressed far enough for us to know if it was a boy or a girl. For those who are wondering, we often refer to it as "Peanut" since we didn't name it.
This is the 1st and only ultrasound I had. You can see why we nicknamed our baby Peanut.
Since I still can't figure out how I feel this year (should my husband celebrate Mother's day for me?), I've decided to celebrate my mothers, and all they've done for me & my husband.
This is my mom. I could hardly find one picture of her alone. She's so in love with my Dad.
My mom has been an amazing example to me of faith and strength. When we found out I was miscarrying, we called my mom, and she dropped everything she was doing to make sure I was okay. It was late at night, and the next morning at 8 or 9 am, my mom was there at my door. She called all the people who knew we were pregnant, to let them know, so I didn't have to go through that pain. She took me and my husband out to Ikea to distract us, and mostly she sat and held me like I was a little kid again.
This is my mom putting rivets into Dad's enormous airplane project.
She's taught me that no matter what you think you can do, you can do more. She is the ultimate giver, and I'm grateful for her example. When Dad first started his airplane, I asked Mom how things were going. She said to me, "Nancy, other builders say that when they start this project, their marriage gets a little rocky. Your Dad and I are really learning how to work with each other. This is the best thing we could have done."
This is Will's Mom & Dad with us at our wedding.
Will's mom is so close to me, I've just always called her mom. At least since we got married... before that she was always Sister Hale. Now I'm Sister Hale, and although it sounds strange to hear people call me that, I'm proud to stand in her shoes. She and I are so much alike, and she has become a wonderful confidant to me, and has been so supportive of me and Will during this trial of infertility. Mom has always been so strong through her own trials, and I had no idea what we would say when we told her about the miscarriage. Through the many years I've known her, and all the things she's gone through, I've never seen her cry. The day we called her, she knew there was nothing she could say to comfort us, but she cried with me. Some people say they can't stand their mother-in-law, but I've been truly blessed.
This is Mom at my sister-in-law, Shirley's, wedding.
Although this day is extremely difficult for me emotionally, I cannot be more grateful for my mothers. They are both amazing women and have amazing testimonies of the gospel. I'm grateful for my mother's influence on me to always choose the right. To prayerfully accept the Lord's will for me, whatever that means. If it weren't for my mother, I never would have known to come home from college to prepare for a mission. (I didn't go on a mission, I got married, but that's another story altogether.) I'm grateful for Will's mom for raising him as a righteous young man, sending him on a mission, and for letting me join their family. Will's mom has always told me not to worry about what it costs to go through fertility treatment. If we can't make ends meet, she'll take care of it.
So to both of my moms, Happy Mother's Day. You have both shown me the best ways to be a mother, and I only hope I will be as good to my future children as you have been to me.
Tell me what you think!
The doctor gave me a shot of antibiotics (why do those always have to be given in your butt?), and a prescription for oral antibiotics, and painkillers. Sadly, the painkillers (which normally make me super sleepy) have only been taking the edge off the pain. The doctor said today would be a lot better, and I guess it is better. I actually slept last night. I only woke up 3 times, which is better than not sleeping at all, I guess, but I was expecting some miracle relief today. 
